Perhaps you have just heard the word “cancer’. Are you the victim, or are you someone close to the victim? You don’t know what to expect. An emotional storm ensues. Naturally, you are shaken. Maybe you are a strong person with unshakable faith in God, but yet you are feeling things that make you feel dizzy and out of control. You could be that person who is never strong in a storm, relies on God completely; but a crisis drives you to fall on your knees and cry hot, even angry tears. Or, are you that person who is both weak in faith, and weak in your own confidence and ability? The word “cancer” leaves you in a puddle, broken down, and helpless. God is here.
Take His hand. Your world will be shaken. But God has that in control. Give it to Him. Feel the feelings. He will take you through the storm. Here are Six Things to Expect:
A Storm of Emotions
If you are waiting to hear a diagnosis, or have just received one, what comes next?
Emotions. A surplus of them. Shaken. Shock. Fear.
Call a close friend or family member who you know can be there for you emotionally. Don’t wait. Do it now. If you can’t find the words to pray, invite someone who will pray with you and for you.
As women, we have a sixth sense about who those people are. You may have a friend whom you adore, but whom you also know cannot be emotionally or spiritually supportive. You may already know that your mother, sister, daughter or even your spouse may not be that person. Of course you want to give the news to each of them- soon if they live with you or nearby. But most of these loved ones will understand if you need a stronger person.
You Don’t Have to Be Strong
You just received devastating news. Perhaps you were shaken to your core. You do not need to be that strong person who stands unaffected, or the person who comforts everyone else. Cry.
It’s to be expected. Cry in the shower if you must. Cry into your pillow or into someone’s shoulder. A friend of mine cried while she cut onions.
Strength, determination, and a fighting spirit can come later. Involvement in your care can come later. Understanding and resolve can come later. Allowing yourself and your loved ones to process the feelings can also come later. Shock sometimes does not allow us time for that. Be fragile. Cry!
You May Question Your Faith.
If you had a strong belief system before this crisis- where is it now?
It can be weakened. It can be shaken. If you feel that what you believe wasn’t enough, talk with your pastor or clergymen. If you feel that you may have had a wrong impression about what and who God is, again, talk with your pastor or other trusted clergy.
Most of all, if you are certain that your beliefs were unshakable, realize that God is still in your corner. He will draw you closer. Most of all, realize that when you pray asking for answers, He will have the right one for you. It may not be what you expected, but it will be right.
There’s More Info Coming
Know that within days or weeks- you will be hearing more information that you may not be prepared to hear. What you thought you understood about treatments may be shaken.
You will be getting some tests that may make you fearful. God understands your fear. It is not His will that you be fearful, but He will lead you out into clearer thinking.
Enemy Cells Are Attacking You
They are powerful. That alone can upset your center of reality. Your body will likely be changed again as drugs fight that enemy. Your days, weeks and months will also change- only a little for some, but more for others. Knowing that this enemy has the potential to kill you is terrifying for many, no matter how well you think you are prepared for that. Upsetting your normal routine and expectations are also daunting for some. Remember that God is stronger.
Your World Has Been Shaken
You cannot, and I restate this strongly, you cannot take it all in at once.
Some of us, including myself- have never been able to take it all in. I do what I can, when I can; but I still don’t understand it all. I don’t spend my every waking hour and days looking for miracle cures. But I do cling to Jesus, and know that He Does heal.
Expect to get bite-sized pieces of information slowly. Research as much as you feel you can handle. But don’t feel you have to know it all, all at once. God is a great manager! His time-keeping is a much better method than yours. All in time.
Once again, this is big, big news. This is no walk in the park. It is not another day in the kitchen. It is an earth-quake.
Bear the shock, take someone’s hand and remember that God is on the other side of this. He will take your burden if you let Him.
It may sound like rain hitting tin to hear: “God is bigger”. Yet, God is bigger! He is your one best answer to everything!
“Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.” Psalm 147:5
April Boyer © Oct. 2015-2017 All Rights Reserved